I still had no proper sleep, my brain is exhausted, I am exhausted. I feel like I need to sleep very long but I have to wake up early tomorrow for our production management project. I was tired today preparing, researching, finishing stuffs. I feel like I didn’t have time for myself. Then my girlfriend is not feeling well and I can’t do a single thing to even make her feel better and it makes me feel that I suck at being her boyfriend. I feel like no one really deserves me, she doesn’t deserve me because she deserves better but I want to be better and no one is helping me, with all these responsibilities, family problems and stuffs. I don’t know. I’m so unstable in the middle of better and worse, that if I do good, I’m better and if I do bad, I’m worse. Tomorrow’s gonna be a long day and I don’t think I’m ready.
The reason why I am not that active unlike before here in tumblr is because it is not the same anymore. How? Most people I follow here don’t even blog. They write the same as my friends in facebook and they just copy paste what is already on twitter. I don’t even know what’s the difference between the content of my dashboard and my timeline. I remember the day I first made a personal blog and followed all of you, it was so addicting because I get to know each one and I was really amazed by how incredible everyone writes and narrate a story. But now? I rarely see someone who does it anymore. It makes me sad that this blogging site is becoming so mainstream that people who are full of themselves start to dominate and people who actually blog are deactivating. This is not how I see Tumblr before.